January 2019
Apes and I are playing imagination car race. He is in a race car and I'm on a motorcycle. Two minutes into the game.
Apes: "Zoom - Zoom! And we are about to go into a haunted house!"
Me: lol ! "Why!?"
Saturday, January 12, 2019
Quotes from Apes - Theories on Santa Claus
November 2018
”Mommy, Santa Claus is not real,“ Apes declared.
Me, surprised: "Oh? How do you figured?"
Apes: "Santa Claus is not real because no one can live forever."
Me: "Okay. But how come other kids think he's real?"
Apes: "I don't know. He is either not real or he is a robot. Cuz a person simply cannot fly to all the houses in one night."
- good logic, sir!
”Mommy, Santa Claus is not real,“ Apes declared.
Me, surprised: "Oh? How do you figured?"
Apes: "Santa Claus is not real because no one can live forever."
Me: "Okay. But how come other kids think he's real?"
Apes: "I don't know. He is either not real or he is a robot. Cuz a person simply cannot fly to all the houses in one night."
- good logic, sir!
Quotes from Apes - Friendship (or lack of)
Sept 2018
Apes experienced betrayal from his friends at the new school. Apes:
"I am a lonely asteroid floating in the galaxy."
Apes experienced betrayal from his friends at the new school. Apes:
"I am a lonely asteroid floating in the galaxy."
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Life is full of disappointments... and love
Today, we came back from our last camping trip of the year.
We went to big basin and I had a fantastic good time.
Sure we had a few expected and unexpected things that happened: we went from a site with too many people to everyone bailed on us; even the last person whom I told Ben repeatedly to be not a flake flaked on us.
Apes was especially disappointed because originally he expected to have at least two of his favorite friends to be on the trip but then none showed up. It also did not help when he tried to make friends with the boys on the neighboring site, one of the boys shoot his toy gun at Apes. When Apes tried to make friends with the girl on the neighboring site, the girl told Apes not to look at her.
Apes has expressed to us how little he liked this trip and how he related these disappointment and social problems on the trip to his problem with this girl from school. He just started at a new school for one week. He misses his friends from the old school and this girl at the new school has been very physical toward Apes.
I am very sad for him as a mom but still love this trip. I love this trip because I love spending time with Ben and Apes, and I love the redwoods. Oh the redwoods, they are just so majestic and graceful. The whole time I was there, I thought about how lucky I was to be there and to be able to enjoy the time with my family. Since this was the fourth camping trip of the year, I was very well prepared. I had just the right amount of food and more blankets than I needed. This was the first time that I was not cold at night and this had made me very happy and satisfied with myself.
Even though I was attempted to glace Apes's disappointments with my joy of being there and joy of being with him, I reminded myself that disappointments are part of life and these were very valuable life lessons for him (I am an asshole in many ways of a mom). I really hope that Apes will one day understand that life is full of disappointments and be able to cherish the love and joy around him.
We went to big basin and I had a fantastic good time.
Sure we had a few expected and unexpected things that happened: we went from a site with too many people to everyone bailed on us; even the last person whom I told Ben repeatedly to be not a flake flaked on us.
Apes was especially disappointed because originally he expected to have at least two of his favorite friends to be on the trip but then none showed up. It also did not help when he tried to make friends with the boys on the neighboring site, one of the boys shoot his toy gun at Apes. When Apes tried to make friends with the girl on the neighboring site, the girl told Apes not to look at her.
Apes has expressed to us how little he liked this trip and how he related these disappointment and social problems on the trip to his problem with this girl from school. He just started at a new school for one week. He misses his friends from the old school and this girl at the new school has been very physical toward Apes.
I am very sad for him as a mom but still love this trip. I love this trip because I love spending time with Ben and Apes, and I love the redwoods. Oh the redwoods, they are just so majestic and graceful. The whole time I was there, I thought about how lucky I was to be there and to be able to enjoy the time with my family. Since this was the fourth camping trip of the year, I was very well prepared. I had just the right amount of food and more blankets than I needed. This was the first time that I was not cold at night and this had made me very happy and satisfied with myself.
Even though I was attempted to glace Apes's disappointments with my joy of being there and joy of being with him, I reminded myself that disappointments are part of life and these were very valuable life lessons for him (I am an asshole in many ways of a mom). I really hope that Apes will one day understand that life is full of disappointments and be able to cherish the love and joy around him.
Sunday, August 21, 2016
永別了, 咪咪
在獸醫告訴我咪咪得了癌症的一年後, 咪咪走了.
咪咪走了, 走得很安詳, 就像是睡著了一樣.
在咪咪要走前兩個星期, 他越吃越少, 也不太走得動了. 就連壽司貓都不去跟他打架了.
我一度很想帶牠去獸醫那裡, 可是我知道如果一帶他去他就再也回不了家了.
他走路雖然搖搖擺擺, 但是不太像有痛苦, 於是我們決定讓他在家裡在他熟悉的環境跟我們度過最後的時光.
我從咪咪8個星期大時就開始照顧他, 18年了. 他走了, 我的心也像破了個洞, 好傷心好痛.
一直到他走了過後兩個月的今天, 我還是一邊打這篇文章一邊哭.
親愛的咪咪, 我希望你知道我們有多麼愛你, 你不在我很想你, 希望你一路好走.
永別了, 咪咪.
咪咪走了, 走得很安詳, 就像是睡著了一樣.
在咪咪要走前兩個星期, 他越吃越少, 也不太走得動了. 就連壽司貓都不去跟他打架了.
我一度很想帶牠去獸醫那裡, 可是我知道如果一帶他去他就再也回不了家了.
他走路雖然搖搖擺擺, 但是不太像有痛苦, 於是我們決定讓他在家裡在他熟悉的環境跟我們度過最後的時光.
我從咪咪8個星期大時就開始照顧他, 18年了. 他走了, 我的心也像破了個洞, 好傷心好痛.
一直到他走了過後兩個月的今天, 我還是一邊打這篇文章一邊哭.
親愛的咪咪, 我希望你知道我們有多麼愛你, 你不在我很想你, 希望你一路好走.
永別了, 咪咪.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Grass is greener
當全職媽媽時, 看著越來越少的積蓄, 總是想找份工作
於是下載了找工作的App, 有事沒事就去看有沒有適合我的工作
有適合的工作時就想著, 這工作要是等小孩去上課時還在找人的話我就去申請
小孩去上學了, 我工作也找到了,
還沒去上工時阿班的老爺車壞了, 壞到開不動, 修好一開動就一股黑煙冒出來
開去廢車場時我開在他後面顫顫驚驚的不知什麼時候老爺車會不動了
但是又忍不住笑了出來,
感覺像是在看八零年代的電視劇一樣, 前面的車子每次遇到紅綠燈再開動時就一堆煙跑出來
真沒想到這麼落魄的情景會發生在我們夫妻倆身上
一邊笑一邊覺得有點悽涼.
我們去買了車後就更窮了, 才發現貧賤夫妻百事哀這話是真的,
我跟阿班兩人整天吵架, 為的不過也是阿班幫他弟妹花太多錢買禮物
他怪我小家子氣, 他賺錢我卻不讓他花在他家人身上
我怪他不瞭解現況, 我們是他家所有人裡負擔最重的, 哪裡有多的錢買奢侈品給他弟弟
我們兩個成了有房子的窮人, 兩個人都很不開心
..............................................................................
都過了快一年了, 怎麼突然寫這個
今天去接小孩回家時, 托兒所的老師和負責人告訴我
我家小孩今天在那邊心情不好, 一定要自己穿鞋, 別人幫他穿他硬是脫掉要自己穿
"很壞!" 負責人說.
"自己穿鞋有什麼不對?"我心裡想著... 可以自己做就該自己做啊!? "妳難到不知道這個年紀的小孩就是這樣要透過表現自己的能力做自己能做的事來自我肯定嗎?" 我心里在碎碎唸但是嘴上沒說
"週末我們帶他去爬山了, 他可能比較累心情不好... 今天辛苦妳們了." 我嘴上講著
"怎麼可以用"很壞"來形容小孩子呢?"我心裡一直嘀咕, 越想越想把孩子留在家裡自己看
上了車還是跟孩子溝通一下, "媽媽知道你可以自己做很多事, 也可以自己穿鞋, 但是在別人幫你做時可以接受一下別人的好意啊...."
孩子點點頭.... 可是我知道同一件事還要再跟他說個3遍可能才會聽進去....
......................................................................................
我有這個耐心等孩子自己穿鞋, 自己吃飯, 在他發脾氣時好好跟他說,
可是別人不見得有這種耐心
我在星期天時會因為明天要上班心情很不好
托兒所的負責人也說星期天她的心情很不好因為星期一要看孩子....
想想她們應該也把我的孩子當工作一樣在應付吧
越想就越覺得我該把工作辭了....
為了怕自己太衝動, 所以來回憶一下沒工作很窮的時候來提醒自己一下
於是下載了找工作的App, 有事沒事就去看有沒有適合我的工作
有適合的工作時就想著, 這工作要是等小孩去上課時還在找人的話我就去申請
小孩去上學了, 我工作也找到了,
還沒去上工時阿班的老爺車壞了, 壞到開不動, 修好一開動就一股黑煙冒出來
開去廢車場時我開在他後面顫顫驚驚的不知什麼時候老爺車會不動了
但是又忍不住笑了出來,
感覺像是在看八零年代的電視劇一樣, 前面的車子每次遇到紅綠燈再開動時就一堆煙跑出來
真沒想到這麼落魄的情景會發生在我們夫妻倆身上
一邊笑一邊覺得有點悽涼.
我們去買了車後就更窮了, 才發現貧賤夫妻百事哀這話是真的,
我跟阿班兩人整天吵架, 為的不過也是阿班幫他弟妹花太多錢買禮物
他怪我小家子氣, 他賺錢我卻不讓他花在他家人身上
我怪他不瞭解現況, 我們是他家所有人裡負擔最重的, 哪裡有多的錢買奢侈品給他弟弟
我們兩個成了有房子的窮人, 兩個人都很不開心
..............................................................................
都過了快一年了, 怎麼突然寫這個
今天去接小孩回家時, 托兒所的老師和負責人告訴我
我家小孩今天在那邊心情不好, 一定要自己穿鞋, 別人幫他穿他硬是脫掉要自己穿
"很壞!" 負責人說.
"自己穿鞋有什麼不對?"我心裡想著... 可以自己做就該自己做啊!? "妳難到不知道這個年紀的小孩就是這樣要透過表現自己的能力做自己能做的事來自我肯定嗎?" 我心里在碎碎唸但是嘴上沒說
"週末我們帶他去爬山了, 他可能比較累心情不好... 今天辛苦妳們了." 我嘴上講著
"怎麼可以用"很壞"來形容小孩子呢?"我心裡一直嘀咕, 越想越想把孩子留在家裡自己看
上了車還是跟孩子溝通一下, "媽媽知道你可以自己做很多事, 也可以自己穿鞋, 但是在別人幫你做時可以接受一下別人的好意啊...."
孩子點點頭.... 可是我知道同一件事還要再跟他說個3遍可能才會聽進去....
......................................................................................
我有這個耐心等孩子自己穿鞋, 自己吃飯, 在他發脾氣時好好跟他說,
可是別人不見得有這種耐心
我在星期天時會因為明天要上班心情很不好
托兒所的負責人也說星期天她的心情很不好因為星期一要看孩子....
想想她們應該也把我的孩子當工作一樣在應付吧
越想就越覺得我該把工作辭了....
為了怕自己太衝動, 所以來回憶一下沒工作很窮的時候來提醒自己一下
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