Quotes from Apes - Theories on Santa Claus

November 2018

”Mommy, Santa Claus is not real,“ Apes declared.
Me, surprised: "Oh? How do you figured?"
Apes: "Santa Claus is not real because no one can live forever."
Me: "Okay. But how come other kids think he's real?"
Apes: "I don't know. He is either not real or he is a robot. Cuz a person simply cannot fly to all the houses in one night."

- good logic, sir!

Quotes from Apes - Friendship (or lack of)

Sept 2018

Apes experienced betrayal from his friends at the new school. Apes:
"I am a lonely asteroid floating in the galaxy."

去年的這個時候, 同事姐姐的其中一個雙胞胎因窒息上天堂了.

發生時, 同事的姊姊姊夫正開車出去玩, 留下大兒子和兩個雙胞胎給同事的爸媽看.

爸媽沒留神時, 其中一個雙胞胎的頭卡在大人的床框和床墊中間, 救護車到時以及就不及.

事過幾個月, 同事說他的姊夫因不能承受喪子的打擊, 酗酒用藥又失業, 姊姊每天在家帶小孩覺得措手不及.

人生真的很反覆.

Life is full of disappointments... and love

Today, we came back from our last camping trip of the year.

We went to big basin and I had a fantastic good time.

Sure we had a few expected and unexpected things that happened: we went from a site with too many people to everyone bailed on us; even the last person whom I told Ben repeatedly to be not a flake flaked on us.

Apes was especially disappointed because originally he expected to have at least two of his favorite friends to be on the trip but then none showed up. It also did not help when he tried to make friends with the boys on the neighboring site, one of the boys shoot his toy gun at Apes. When Apes tried to make friends with the girl on the neighboring site, the girl told Apes not to look at her.

Apes has expressed to us how little he liked this trip and how he related these disappointment and social problems on the trip to his problem with this girl from school. He just started at a new school for one week. He misses his friends from the old school and this girl at the new school has been very physical toward Apes.

I am very sad for him as a mom but still love this trip. I love this trip because I love spending time with Ben and Apes, and I love the redwoods. Oh the redwoods, they are just so majestic and graceful. The whole time I was there, I thought about how lucky I was to be there and to be able to enjoy the time with my family. Since this was the fourth camping trip of the year, I was very well prepared. I had just the right amount of food and more blankets than I needed. This was the first time that I was not cold at night and this had made me very happy and satisfied with myself.

Even though I was attempted to glace Apes's disappointments with my joy of being there and joy of being with him, I reminded myself that disappointments are part of life and these were very valuable life lessons for him (I am an asshole in many ways of a mom). I really hope that Apes will one day understand that life is full of disappointments and be able to cherish the love and joy around him.
 

永別了, 咪咪

在獸醫告訴我咪咪得了癌症的一年後, 咪咪走了.


咪咪走了, 走得很安詳, 就像是睡著了一樣.

在咪咪要走前兩個星期, 他越吃越少, 也不太走得動了. 就連壽司貓都不去跟他打架了.

我一度很想帶牠去獸醫那裡, 可是我知道如果一帶他去他就再也回不了家了.

他走路雖然搖搖擺擺, 但是不太像有痛苦, 於是我們決定讓他在家裡在他熟悉的環境跟我們度過最後的時光.

我從咪咪8個星期大時就開始照顧他, 18年了. 他走了, 我的心也像破了個洞, 好傷心好痛.

一直到他走了過後兩個月的今天, 我還是一邊打這篇文章一邊哭.

親愛的咪咪, 我希望你知道我們有多麼愛你, 你不在我很想你, 希望你一路好走.

永別了, 咪咪.

Grass is greener

當全職媽媽時, 看著越來越少的積蓄, 總是想找份工作

於是下載了找工作的App, 有事沒事就去看有沒有適合我的工作

有適合的工作時就想著, 這工作要是等小孩去上課時還在找人的話我就去申請

小孩去上學了, 我工作也找到了,

還沒去上工時阿班的老爺車壞了, 壞到開不動, 修好一開動就一股黑煙冒出來

開去廢車場時我開在他後面顫顫驚驚的不知什麼時候老爺車會不動了

但是又忍不住笑了出來,

感覺像是在看八零年代的電視劇一樣, 前面的車子每次遇到紅綠燈再開動時就一堆煙跑出來

真沒想到這麼落魄的情景會發生在我們夫妻倆身上

一邊笑一邊覺得有點悽涼.

我們去買了車後就更窮了, 才發現貧賤夫妻百事哀這話是真的,

我跟阿班兩人整天吵架, 為的不過也是阿班幫他弟妹花太多錢買禮物

他怪我小家子氣, 他賺錢我卻不讓他花在他家人身上

我怪他不瞭解現況, 我們是他家所有人裡負擔最重的, 哪裡有多的錢買奢侈品給他弟弟

我們兩個成了有房子的窮人, 兩個人都很不開心

..............................................................................

都過了快一年了, 怎麼突然寫這個

今天去接小孩回家時, 托兒所的老師和負責人告訴我

我家小孩今天在那邊心情不好, 一定要自己穿鞋, 別人幫他穿他硬是脫掉要自己穿

"很壞!" 負責人說.

"自己穿鞋有什麼不對?"我心裡想著... 可以自己做就該自己做啊!? "妳難到不知道這個年紀的小孩就是這樣要透過表現自己的能力做自己能做的事來自我肯定嗎?" 我心里在碎碎唸但是嘴上沒說

"週末我們帶他去爬山了, 他可能比較累心情不好... 今天辛苦妳們了." 我嘴上講著

"怎麼可以用"很壞"來形容小孩子呢?"我心裡一直嘀咕, 越想越想把孩子留在家裡自己看

上了車還是跟孩子溝通一下, "媽媽知道你可以自己做很多事, 也可以自己穿鞋, 但是在別人幫你做時可以接受一下別人的好意啊...."

孩子點點頭.... 可是我知道同一件事還要再跟他說個3遍可能才會聽進去....

......................................................................................

我有這個耐心等孩子自己穿鞋, 自己吃飯, 在他發脾氣時好好跟他說,

可是別人不見得有這種耐心

我在星期天時會因為明天要上班心情很不好

托兒所的負責人也說星期天她的心情很不好因為星期一要看孩子....

想想她們應該也把我的孩子當工作一樣在應付吧

越想就越覺得我該把工作辭了....

為了怕自己太衝動, 所以來回憶一下沒工作很窮的時候來提醒自己一下

可惡之人必有可憐之處

大頭有一個男性友人, 就叫他"不歸路"男好了

跟我一般年紀卻未婚無女友,

這也沒什麼, 問題是老是喜歡跟有家事的女人在一起,

也老是喜歡對有男友的女生表現好感.

這對於我這種不是白就是黑,外表三十內心六十的女生來講這人因此就變成是個討人厭的傢伙,

不是因為他老是跟我混在一起, 也不是因為他對我沒有對其他已婚女人那麼體貼,

是因為身為他友人, 每次在聽到他跟我說某某女生(已婚或有男友)怎樣怎樣時,

我就忍不住會皺眉頭, 然後我最近發現我的抬頭紋很嚴重

想跟他要錢去打肉毒桿菌因為都是他害我吃午飯時一直皺眉頭皺不完.

我覺得這樣子道德很有缺現的人聽他說"情史"真是一種折磨說.

我另一個女性朋友告訴我在她每次把不歸男的體貼行為當姐弟情時,

不歸男就會加倍的表現出比她老公還要浪漫的舉動, 這讓她有些煩惱

"妳老公應該會更煩惱吧~"我說. "都老夫老妻快15年的婚姻, 孩子三個每天管都管不完了,

工作累死, 還要怕有人來搶老婆, 真是莫名其妙~~"


會繼續當不歸男的朋友也是因為他其實也很可憐, 因為前女友劈腿精神受愴才會踏上去找已婚之婦浪漫一下的不歸路

可是明明披他腿的是前女友, 我怎麼就這麼衰要聽他很爛的情史呢? (是共業嗎? 假衰~)

還是我應該要去跟他前女友要錢去打額頭的肉桿呢?


雖然我現在生活不是上班就是回家罵老公管小孩很無聊, 也很需要八卦的滋潤,

但是這種老是讓我受到精神責難的八卦不要也罷吧~

也許我雖然外表三十內心六十但還是比較喜歡走純情一夫一妻制的路線吧~